But seriously folks, if you are still getting over the torpor induced by 90 degrees that feel like 105 degrees, don't worry. You aren't missing much locally - except for a couple of items like this:
Aliens Seize Vehicle!
Where is the rest of this car?? Neighbors reported a loud whirring noise in the middle of the night and then a big thump, as if something metal was being dumped into the cargo hold of a UFO. Investigators are monitoring a scrap yard on South Second Street, but so far have only seen several shopping carts full of soda cans.
A Message to Humanity from Another Universe??
Linguists from around the world are puzzling over this cryptic communication. What does it stand for? "World Are Mine" is one guess. There is room for another letter and cryptologists are anxiously awaiting a chance to break the code if it appears.
Your Cat May Really Be A Dog!!
We all have heard of those canine habits such as chewing up shoes, while cats are better known for spending hours grooming themselves and ignoring their humans. But veterinarians warn of a shocking behavioral shift in felines! The syndrome manifests at first when a cat takes over your shoes. If you see Mittens lifting a leg instead of scratching in the litter box, it's too late! Your cat has become a dog! Take action now and call the hotline at 1-800-OHNOESS for help right now!
And that's the news for now.
--Bernice
Levity! Much needed!
ReplyDeleteRebecca