"Hi, honey!"
That's what I heard as I got to Municipal Court to cover a council meeting. I recognized the voice - it was Danny Dunn.
Again: "Hi, honey!"
I didn't answer, but inside the court a person who also heard Dunn yelling at me from his van shook his head and wondered aloud at Dunn's behavior.
As the meeting concluded, Dunn, who had delivered scathing comments to a council member during public comment, approached me and again called me "honey." I have absolutely no relationship with Dunn, not even the remotest degree of friendship, so I said firmly, "Don't call me 'honey.' It's inappropriate."
Of course, inappropriate behavior is Danny Dunn's hallmark, so I'm sure he could care less about my feelings.
Interestingly, on the Brian Lehrer show Thursday, there was a discussion of this very topic, about being called "honey" or "sweetie" in a professional setting or by someone who is not a relative or partner. It was related to a New York Times article about the American Bar Association declaring use of demeaning language a form of professional misconduct.
Women listeners called in to say how they felt demeaned in the courtroom, office or even in a medical situation when they were called "honey" or "sweetie."
An EMT said part of his training included a warning never to use terms of endearment when helping a woman.
Turns out there are federal guidelines on the use of such language and behavior. One example is posted by the U.S. Department of the Interior. I had actually considered filing a harassment report on Dunn, because that's how it felt. I am a female, age 78, present in a quasi-professional capacity as a blogger gathering news at a council meeting and here comes Danny Dunn to mess with me. Not having it.
I'm sure there will be more attempts at unacceptable behavior from Mr. Dunn as the local election season heats up. However, there are some rules for public comment:
NO SPEAKER SHALL ENGAGE IN ANY PERSONALLY OFFENSIVE, DEROGATORY OR ABUSIVE REMARKS. THE PRESIDENT SHALL IMMEDIATELY CALL TO ORDER ANY SPEAKER WHO VIOLATES THIS PROVISION. AN OFFICER FROM THE PLAINFIELD POLICE DIVISION MAY REMOVE ANY DISRUPTIVE PERSON AT THE DISCRETION OF THE PRESIDING OFFICER. PUBLIC COMMENT IS AN OPPORTUNITY FOR THE PUBLIC TO PRESENT THEIR VIEWS – BOTH POSITIVE AND NEGATIVE.
It's a temptation to cut up on camera, but that's one reason why the president has a gavel. Meanwhile, is there anywhere to send somebody for remedial home training?
--Bernice
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You got called "honey," Bernice, while I got called "the devil" by Dunn. He won't ever be able to understand why they are equally offensive. Councilman Goode gave him a proper spanking at the council meeting the other night, when he stood and spouted his inane, inaccurate foolishness while the audience behind him sat there rolling their eyes. It's too bad that he doesn't ever have anything substantive to say, but only attacks people. Pathetic.
ReplyDeleteIt is true Mr.Dunn will say some off the wall stuff, but Bernice your attack on him is very bias.The Dunn family is despised by this current administration and its cult-like following.Rebecca may not be the devil, but she certainly does the devil dealings, and she has it twisted, Dunn spanked Goode's behind, justified. Your attack on Dunn is unwarranted. You should know the generation that you share with him often refers to woman by 'HONEY, or Sweetie'does not make it right,but people are called a lot worse. If this is printed which it probably will not be, all you supporters of Bernice, Rebecca, and no Goode, who cares what you say or think, Not me, GO FOR IT.
ReplyDeleteYou protect this guy. Come to the local bars and listen to this sick man act and talk like some gang banger with no class. This guy newda help.
DeleteHis "generation" has nothing to do with respecting people and being aware of what you say. Maybe he's Trumps long lost relative. Dunn's behavior has no excuse or place in public. He knows what he's doing is inappropriate and he does it for effect. He's one of the most passive/aggressive people around. As a therapist who deals with clients like this, I know his type all too well.
DeleteAnon 8:20 - fascinating post - good part of it doesn't seem to make any sense but it is very interesting. I wasn't aware that supporting an elected official against regressive opponents within the community is the definition of "cult-like". I guess that makes my support of Obama cult-like also, as well as my preference of Coke over Pepsi. Until today I was not aware of how many cults I am connected with. Thank you for enlightening me.
DeleteBy the way, the concept of tolerating something because "people are called a lot worse" is actually the most ridiculous thing I have heard in a long time.
I commend Bernice for posting your comment as I am sure she was far more offended by the grammar and poor use of punctuation than she was by the content.
The Dunn family are disliked by a heck of a lot more people than just this administration. Some points -
Delete1 - Rebecca has done the devil dealings (I would say that your unkind words regarding her would make the devil smile)
2 - Generational wording - there was a generation that used degrading words for African Americans, Italians , Irish etc. As long as I am of a certain "generation" can I bring those words back into my vocabulary?
3 - Obviously your comment was printed. I would apologize to Bernice if I were a good Christian.
Thanks Bernice! It's high time this town stops hiding behind "but that's how we've always done things" as an excuse to suffer fools. Those who insist on sexist, bigoted, divisive language need to be called out and properly dismissed. Those who say "it's just his age" miss the point. We mustn't allow rude misogynistic behavior based on "but he's old." If the man can't conduct himself civilly due to age (an excuse I find ageist on the part of that apologist), then have him spout his insane rhetoric in the dining hall of a nursing home, not our government meetings.
ReplyDeleteBernice..ignore him. He is a walking liability. Calling someone by a term of endearment can be a manifestation of appreciation, a meaningless off hand remark with no mal-intent, vulgar sarcasm, an attempt to affect some kind of superiority, bullying; even threatening. Danny's use of the word is some combination of the latter 4 possibilities. Where ignorance is bliss, tis folly to be wise.
ReplyDeleteThank you Bernice
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, the act of disrespect on the part of this man, towards you not only as a woman but as a part of the seasoned citizens ( of which I too am a part). I have witnessed Dunn and his lack of decorum in the past and am not surprised at any of his actions. Ignorance on Display!!!!
Anon, 12:43, Did not realize I was being graded by an elitist who is the self proclaimed grammar and punctuation police. I am sure you got my point, although you people always find away to demean someone when you do not like their opinion. Keep the main point the main point. Danny Dunn was not trying to disrespect Bernice by saying "Sweetie or honey." Could it be that in the 21st Century Black men still must be careful how they address white Women? Remember EMMETT Till.Anon, 12:43, you have an economy with words I eagerly await your next syllable.
ReplyDeleteIt's not elitist to expect someone to use proper grammar and punctuation - that's how thoughts are communicated and conveyed. If someone can't string together a coherent sentence, I believe that their thinking and ability to process information may also be muddled. Grammar is essential - in your last post you capitalized "Black", but not "white". That could be simple carelessness, or could be interpreted a whole other way. Same thing with the random capitalization of "Women" and the lower case "men".
DeleteYour message gets lost if it's not expressed correctly and carefully.
Of course he was disrespectful!!!! How many people who you do not know call you "Honey"?
DeleteHow incredibly offensive to even mention Emmett Till, who was lynched, in the same breath as a reference to Danny Dunn. It is an offense to those of us in the civil rights movement.
ReplyDeleteI had the recent misfortune of watching the Danny Dunn shuck and jive show at a local business. He was going on and on about how HE and HIS family thanks to his brother getting elected were going to take back the city and send Adrian back to where he came from. He was trying to solicit illegal pay to play donations. Pay now and get rich later. He is a true embarassment to the city and his family. Lets hope if Malcolm sells his house and moves away, he takes Danny with him.
ReplyDeleteOften I am alerted to someone wanting my attention by: Yo, Yo ... Yo. I find that extremely rude.
ReplyDeletePlainfield is DUNN with the Dunns. They take advantage of people when ever they get a chance with no regard of the outcome and damage to others.Danny DUNN knows your name Bernice and he should use it and not call you honey!
ReplyDeleteDo you mean done with the Dunns? I suppose you speak for the entire city.
DeleteMalcolm Dunn has always been a gentleman over the 30 years I have known him. I think Danny is an outlier in the family.
Delete